once upon a time...

once upon a time, i heard a story
about the stars in the sky
i was illuminated

i want to have one

time goes on and I arrived
in front of a door
it was only one step away
if i reached out my hand,
it will open
but i didn't

at that time, i was so naive, so plain, and so straight
so stupid, so careless
i was a coward, i was afraid of the pain
and i chose to run...

without noticing, the world revolves again
takes me further
to the wrong direction

at that time i was blinded by fear
that i didn't see the ones who waited for me
really waited for me
really wanted me to come
really opened the door for me to enter

what i saw was only the beasts
the cold eyes of those peoples
a closed door

and i let my chance slip

until time passed and now i'm still
looking up
illuminated

the door that once was opened for me
now has become
a black star that i couldn't reach
the black star
the black star
the black star
the black star

illuminated
me


i have been thinking... perhaps, someday i will explain about how chii and natsu become two in one... and for someone like me, the best way to explain it is by make it a story. but as i can't complete the story in a short time, i will post it one by one.
this post may look like a poem, but actually, this is a prologue about chii, natsu and my life.
do not forget whatever written in the poem-like posts, because they hold an important part of the entire story.